Off to Germany...

Sorry I haven’t written much the past few weeks… I’m sure after my last post you’ve been wondering how I’ve been doing. Honestly, it was touch and go there for a while. Thoughts of an early retirement crossed my mind several times and I questioned my desire to keep pushing forward. The first week back at the empty training center it was difficult to find the motivation to even get out of bed. Basically I had a lot of soul searching to do. Week two consisted of putting one foot in front of the other to start taking steps towards a healthy decision that would be right for me. I started sliding again and struggled to enjoy myself because my times were less than stellar. That’s when the ceesaw affect set it… one day I wanted to buy my ticket to go on the ICC tour and then the next day I wanted to pack my car and go back to school. Not good. I ended up setting a date where I would make a final decision and dedicate myself fully to whatever that was.

I worried a lot of people that were close to me during the process. I didn’t answer many phone calls, I didn’t return people’s calls and I wasn’t my usual happy self trying to figure it all out. I didn’t want to get too many opinions because what ever I decided had to come completely from me.

What made everything even more difficult is through it all my 6 year relationship came to an end and I didn’t have my best friend to turn to when I need him the most. Let’s just say I haven’t been feeling myself the last few weeks. Wow, is this a sob story or what? I better turn this around quick before someone starts feeling sorry for me! Haha Someone once told me that no one ever wants to hear your problems so keep them to yourself (unless it’s NBC trying to make a story about you for the Olympics… they love that stuff)…I definitely believe that’s true. I can talk about all this now because I feel really great about the opportunity my future holds these days… I have a lot of close friends and family to thank for my quick turn around. You guys are awesome! I can’t tell you how much love and support came out of this twisted situation. I’m starting to see things more clearly and I don’t believe that being on world cup first half was the right route to the Games for me. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again… everything happens for a reason.

Here’s where I stand today. I’m hanging out in the Newark airport getting ready to fly to Germany. I’m so excited to go over there and give it everything I have. Honestly, I have nothing to lose and the door of opportunity to take a world cup spot after Christmas is getting wider every race. It will be a fight but I’ve never been more ready to accept the challenge. I don’t feel any pressure and I’m ready to enjoy every aspect of these next three weeks in Europe! My confidence in my sliding ability is back where I wanted it to be after forerunning the World Cup race this week in Lake Placid. Plus, what’s could be better to embark on this journey as determined, revived, single woman?! Haha bring it on!

Thanks again for your support ☺

PHOTO: From a recent trip to Stratham, New Hampshire to visit retired teammate Marci!!! It was the trip that started to turn things around for me...You're the best!!!!