Rough Trials... Things Don't Always Go Your Way.

Well, here's the candid Keslie. I'm sitting in the middle seat of my southwest flight I had to book last night. My mind is blank because I'm so tired and my body is shutting down from all the stress I've been through the last few weeks. I've experienced almost every emotion in the past 24hrs there's almost nothing else to feel. Everything from crocodile tears to being appreciative that I've even made it this far. There have been some moments of being incredibly angry and pissed off as well (I'm not going to lie about that). I just can't tell you how disappointed I am at how these races turned out. I keep telling myself that it would be harder if I missed the world cup team by just a few points but let's face it, I wasn't even close. My sliding and mental edge have been off since I stepped on the ice this season. It just doesn't add up after I prepared so well for every aspect of trials this summer. It seemed like no matter what I've done or tried, the stars are just not aligned for me right now. There have been so many questions and "what if's" going through my head but I may never know the answers. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason but this is a tough one to swallow. To top it off, I watched my best friend walk away and retire after not making the World Cup team (a decision she had made going into trials)... That wasn't easy either.

I'm going back to lake placid to gather my things and drive my car home for the winter. (it may be the longest 9hrs of my life) I have a lot to think about and some tough decisions to make about my future. I'm not giving up on this season but I've come to a cross road where I think skeleton has already given me all it has to offer. I've seen both the ugly side and the glorious side. I’ve have the opportunity to surround myself with those who work hard and those who just get by… I’ve been inspired by the process and I’ve been hurt by it. But most of all, I’ve seen the world and have felt supported by so many people that I am so thankful for everything skeleton has done for my life.

The top 4 men and women are headed to Whistler as I type… A goal of mine that was not reached. In a way, I'm not too disappointed because I did have that opportunity last year and I'm confident in my ability there. Anything can happen so I would never count myself out yet. I'm almost thankfully that I have some time to rest now before I head to Europe in 3 weeks. I may stay in lake placid and work on my sliding for a bit... I can focus on getting myself healthy and strong in a non-stressful environment. I might even be able to sell my old sled to a development slider and pay for the first half of tour. fingers crossed!

On a side note... The sliders going on the ICC tour got together last night to discuss travel arrangements. I actually got excited to pull myself together and give it my best over there. I've always been better in Europe anyway...heck, I’ve spent enough time there! Sorry if this post has been all over the place… I guess it just resembles my feelings at the moment. I’ll keep you posted with some of my decisions the next few weeks leading up to the ICC tour.

Thanks again for all your support!